It finally happened. Weeks after being announced cover athlete for the upcoming NEFHL23 video game despite playing ZERO NEFHL games, Trevor "the trevor" Zegras is officially a member of the Minnesota mild. The announcement of the cover photo triggered a media shitstorm with 'fiery but peaceful' protests outside the arena, a netflix miniseries on the brink of collapse due to excessive costs and race-swapping backlash, and the GM battling white supremacists trash loser right wing domestic terrorist extremists on the internet. Things have gone quiet on that front for now. Although rumors keep persisting of a new 'jersey rebrand' in the works before the drop of the puck for the 2022-2023 season. There is nothing to report on that right now.

In the meantime, Trevor "smokes" Zegras is donning the green and red WILD jersey. "I'm just really happy to finally get going. Meeting some of the guys I haven't met yet and just being around the boys and playing hockey." said the young center. "It's hard not to notice my name mixed in with the chaos that happened recently. I just want to focus on hockey."

"We were always going to sign him for this season. Just a matter of when. We were looking to bring him on midway through the year but always had the possibility of signing him before the season started." replied the GM. "We tried to bring back Paul Stastny who had some success with us in the past as a mercenary, but just couldn't finalize a deal with him and the offseason is winding down. Trevor will be supported by Hintz, Pageau, Evans down the middle to start the year. Pettersson will move to the right side for now."

The wild/mild also brought back veteran blue liner Duncan Keith on a one year, massively overpaid, $1,800,101 deal.

"Duncan Keith is one of the best leaders on D in this entire league. Just look around. He is still extremely fast and his defensive reliability is very obvious. He may not be as offensively gifted as he was 10 years ago but we need him to be a stable defensive presence on the bottom pair and maybe some special teams."

The GM created controversy last season when the team struggled out of the gate and there were no takers for the then even more overpaid Keith and his $2,800,000 salary. Before the deadline the GM waived the veteran so the player can make a post-season run. The Edmonton Oilers benefitted and saw Keith in the post-season. Critics said this was tanking and is ruining the league. But people not lacking in critical thinking saw this as legitimate move since he was available for less than the price of a Tim Hortons coffee, literally for months with no takers. 

"I really hope we're not in the same position this time around." said the GM. "We want to compete this year. Forget about last season and burn it from memory. That is a place we don't ever want to be back to. The roster is starting to take shape. We're still active on free agency. We have about 4 million in cap to play with. We could have around 2 million more if we made some roster moves. We're a little forward heavy right now. The forward trios outside line one will be interesting. We see a lot of possibilities with the roster, cap, trade availabilities. We want the season to start."


Article: 15/5

'Show me the money' bonus: $2,500,000 / $10,000,000