When I sat down to write my fifth article
My brain took a writer's cramp farticle
So here's what I did
(I felt like a kid)
And I hope you don't rip me aparticle

We all know about JD Barry
He's NEFHL's own Prince Harry
We owe it to him
For producing our SIM
So he could own Mike Cammalleri

But this looked like Minnesota's year
They scored a gazillion more goals than their peers
But in the post-season
Their skills were just freezin'
And now Ryan is packing his gear

Finishing next were the Devils
For Alex it was reaching new new levels
But just like the Wild
His post-season was mild
And his team is now just disheveled..

GM Chris's Bruins finished high
But in Beantown they're ready to cry
Like the Devils and Wild
He'll soon be exiled
And with just two picks asking 'why?'

And how did the Habs finish fourth?
Could anyone see this up North?
The GM from Texas
Built a nice team that checks us
But will it deliver its worth?

In fifth are the Florida Panthers
Carter's gayness has all the anthers
After one year of doubt
He is no longer out
And his team once again has its chances

After JD next came the Blues
Phil's franchise for sure paid its dues
For seven straight years
St Louis appears
In the playoffs where it surely will lose

For a team that was 8th on the board
Sylvan's post season's about to abort
But it should not surprise
That the Preds will not rise
Since they let in more goals than they scored

And then we have the New York Rangers
Whose playoffs are clearly in danger
Despite having AO
They're taking a KO
Cause Ovechkin's surrounded by strangers

And now for poetic heaven
I get to write about Kevin
The Sabres got swept
Cause the GM's inept
(Not really he was tenth not eleventh)

Eleventh goes to the Canes
His year displayed growing pains
From being dead last
He rebuilt mighty fast
And now he's showing his gains.

Detroit hasn't run out of gas
From smoking Jean's excellent grass
They're showing the 'Yotes
They ain't dogies they're goats
The Red Wings will not let them pass.

Sens were 13th overall
But it looks like the Devils will fall
With vet Eric Brewer
The Sens let in fewer
And the Devils are back to the wall.

The BlueJackets are playing the Blues
And it's anyone's guess who will lose
But with Steen the big scorer
And defense at its core, er...
Columbus is hard to abuse

Aha! It's time to do Shane
And the sick fuck is surely a pain
But he's friends with Brent
So I assume he is bent
And I'll chalk it up to no brain.

Next it's the GM from Philly
Who makes deals while stroking his willy
But it's just too thin
It doesn't stay in
And here's where the limerick gets silly

Talking deals with the Vancouver Canucks
Is like trading blown kisses for fucks
He'll ask for his shit
But he won't give up spit
He denies it but he really sucks.

Thank God for Tampa Bay Paul
And it's a good thing Chara's so tall
I suspect that he's pissed
At the playoffs he missed
But he'll be ready to contend next fall.

At 20th Phoenix got in
But we all know they'll never win
Even Mark will admit
That his team plays like shit
And he always gets cum on his chin

GM Adrian's always so touchy
About things that don't bother so muchy
But his team looks too good
It sure seemed like it would
Be playing not packing the fudgy

For Chicago 21st wasn't good
Anthony expected that Knuble would
Do much more leading
At least stop the bleeding
But the Blackhawks are back in the hood

And then there's Los Angeles Drew
Who everyone hates for his Two
He just doesn't care
About what happens where
He's still got his Cups and fuck you!

Also down low are the Stars
Who remember their Cup from afars
They haven't been back
Because of their lack
Of players who stay out of bars.

When it to GMs with class
There aren't that many that pass
But the San Jose Sharks
Shoot off electric sparks
He's so thorough while wiping his ass

Ha Ha to the Washington Caps
GM Mike has a team full of saps
He traded his picks
For high-scoring sticks
And finished with nothing but snaps

The Oilers are ready to blow
The high spot is Julien's show
Nobody will pay
To see his team play
He'll compete in ten years or so.

Holy Shit it's time for GM Brent
Who always has something to vent
With incredible skill
His team sucks a pill
It's got to be something he sent.

Colorado also won this thing
But this GM ain't wearing the ring
Maybe some year
It will reappear
But it don't look likely this spring

And then there's the Isles
Who wrote this for smiles
Don't take offense
Just think of me hence
I needed to write one with styles

The Anaheim Ducks
Have plenty of bucks
Finishing last
As they have in the past
Must sting as much as it sucks.