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Judgement Day

How do you prepare your team to play GOD? Good question, Ron Wilson will need to really light a fire under the asses of the Bruins today as they prepare to face the one and only father of Baby Jesus. "We've been preparing for this game all week" said an exasperated Wilson from his office this morning "we managed to convert all the shower water to holy water, maybe that will help, we also called Father Steven Reisman to bless our sticks but he was apparently in a drug induced coma". Shitty indeed.

The Bruins are winless in 5 but that only sounds bad, a string of tie games sounds better. The Bruins also made a trade today sending ME Vlasic to the Islanders when they discovered he was an athiest. "No need to harber any non beleivers for our big game" said general manager Chris Ransom who we reached for comment inside St. Philippe Cathedral on the corner of Eberlame and Six Toews Street. "It's going to be a battle for the ages, i only hope i packed some diapers".