The new image is much easier on the eyes than the previous image.
In a move that league insiders have been predicting for days, the Oilers have finally added a story simply so ownership no longer had to look at an inappropriately sized image of Chris Mason. For reasons unknown, former general manager Julien Campion had ordered the image be placed directly below the team's lone banner, dating from their 2006-07 division championship. In a phone interview, Edmonton general manager Jason Jarrett spoke freely on the topic, "Seriously. How hard is it to size a fucking image to be 700 by 308 pixels? It's not fucking rocket science. My grandma could do it with Microsoft Paint. And Steve Mason? What the fuck?" When informed that the previous image was of Chris Mason, not Steven Mason, Jarrett responded, "Chris Mason... Steve Mason... Perry Mason... who gives a fuck? Both fucking worthless. Have you seen either of them play? I have to watch Chris a shitload more than I like. Theodore apparently needs his quiet time to be a .500 goalie. Whatever. You can take that downtown and print it."
"Seriously. What the fuck?"