In a potentially league-threatening scandal, the NEFHL Sim Justice Department today announced the beginning of a widening investigation into SIM-fixing at the 'highest levels' of the New Era Fantasy Hockey League.  Unnamed but occasionally reliable sources were seen scurrying to and from meetings about the events surrounding simulated game results since the trade deadline.

 

Since March 10th, the date of the deadline, the New York Islanders have lost 7 times by a combined margin of 19 goals while only winning once when the Florida Panthers GM, Trevor Mac, unceremoniously started unknown Iiro Tarkki in net.  GM Steve Reisman made a short reference to the impending publicity when he said "Several once-proud franchises are being laid low by powerful and selfish people. Something smells bad here."  

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Since the Islanders first round pick became the property of the Calgary Flames, the Islanders have endured a series of bad calls, key injuries and lopsided scores.  Commissioner JD Barry, when asked about the allegations, said, "I don't know what's going on out there in Calgary but I can assure you the league will use everything in its power to check on these charges."  Then, when a reporter pointed out that he was both the Commissioner, the SIM-Master and the GM of the Flames, Mr. Barry looked around slowly at the gathering and said "One more question like that and you'll be facing a strike!"

Around the league, GMs are in agreement that something weird has been happening.  One GM, who requested anonymity for fear of persecution, said "I know the Isles aren't very good this season, but up until that deal, they were always within a point or two of the tanking Avalanche team.  In fact, the Avalanche are now 5 point ahead of the Isles and the only thing I see that's different is who owns the Isles top draft pick."  When asked about this, GM Steve Reisman said, "This better be settled soon because I have no doubt that the Live Draft will be a sham without some closure."

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In the past, charges of impropriety were met with derision and back-room back-slapping.  However, more unnamed sources revealed that GM Barry was suspected of ice-girl abuse.  "No. NO. NO!!!"  he said, his voice escalated with each 'no' until he was shouting in a shrill denial.  "I did not do any of this stuff and I invite anyone except GM Steve Reisman to investigate.  This is just a case of Cup-Envy."  he concluded.

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