Longtime Islanders mascot, Sparky, was reported drowned in the waters off Coney Island on Thursday morning.  Suicide was rumored but foul play was impossible to rule out.

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After being told that he wouldn’t be making the trip to Barclays Center, unsubstantiated rumors revealed a growing obsession with Brooklyn Decker.  Ms. Decker was also seen in the surf late Wednesday and, in fact, a piece of her scanty bikini was found, still clutched in Sparky’s paw when he was pulled from the water. Efforts to resuscitate the dragon were unsuccessful and he was pronounced dead at the scene.

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Islander fans were of mixed emotions on learning of Sparky’s demise.  Rocco from Canarsie said “Sparky was da greatest!  He made my kids laugh and smile. They’re gonna miss him.  Me?  I hope he sleeps wid da fishes!”   

 

Sparky partying with Islander fans

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Ms. Decker, reached in an undisclosed location, said “I don’t know what happened last night.  The last thing I remember was lounging in the shallow water when this weirdo mascot began ogling me.  I tried to tell him I wasn’t interested but then he came at me and everything went dark after that.”

 

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Sparky was kept on at the coliseum for several years after an ice girl accused him of ‘inappropriate’ behavior.  She was ultimately sent to Bridgeport to sweep the ice in the AHL while Sparky became a Long Island cult hit at Bar Mitzvahs, weddings and even several funerals.

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Reached for comment, GM Steve Reisman said “We send our deepest condolences to the family and friends of the entire mascot community. I’ve heard the rumors but Sparky was no Joey Buttafuoco.” For those who don’t remember, Joseph A. "Joey" Buttafuoco is an auto body shop owner from Long Island. He is best known for having had an affair with Amy Fisher. Fisher, who was 16 years old at the time, subsequently shot Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.

 

Buttafuoco with another Long Island mascot.