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Four Vuckers out

It hasnt been long since Wanda Vuck, the new Rangers medical consultant ,arrived in town. Just a couple of days, but already 4 players had to leave the organisation.

"Different stories, but all in all the same reason: Wanda Vuck", Gm Kaminski explained. "She came in and worked hard from the first moment. Its not like she is our new GM, but she knew within moments whats going on with our players. She told me all the results from the players testings and i knew what to do", Kaminski added.

The first who had to leave was Tommy Wingels: "Tommy always has been a loyal member of our team but lately he seemed unhappy and wasnt been able to play up to his potential. He wasnt awful but also not good enough for what we knew he is capable of. Wanda tested him for about 2 hours and her comment was clear: Wiggles can check, he can skate but he cant vuck, she said. It seemd like indeed that was his main problem since his girlfriend left 4 months ago. Wanda added, he is an awful lover too and it wont be easy to find someone to stay with him for more than one night. She suggested a trade. So i called Buffalos GM Kevin immediately, as i knew he likes boys who can check but not vuck. The return was solid for this underperformer on the ice and in bed", Kaminski explained.

"Just 3 hours later Wanda was again in my office and asked to buy out 2 young players. They dont have a winning attitude, the arent professionell players, she said. They even dont have any hair on their balls. I didnt want to make Wanda angry and agreed. So i had to inform Reece Scarlett and Josh Archibald that they are bought out."

The last one who left the Rangers for now was Carl Gunnarsson: "It was a different case with Gunnar. His wife Carla was in my office and demanded a trade for her husband. She feared the examinatons of Wanda Vuck. She even threatened to murder Gunnar if we dont move him by the end of the week. To save Gunnars life we immediately asked all other teams to trade for him cheap but nobody wanted him. So we waived him with the purpose of terminating his contract if he wont be claimed."

As you can see a lot has changed in Rangersland since Wanda Vuck arrived. We will keep you updated about new decisions and impressions. For now Wanda awaits the arrival of the new acquisitions: JG Pageau, Brandon Carlo and Jordan Martinook (all from Buffalo) and Jack Skille (claimed off waivers) will get to know Wanda very soon.