STANDINGS

The Jackets started the season hot as fuck (as usual), basically running the table for the first couple weeks and enjoying the view from atop the entire league. That was short lived (as usual) and now the team finds itself in the middle of the pack in the West. All in all there's no surpise here and unless we're thrown off course by injuries we should be able to secure a low playoff spot shortly before the end of the season.

SUMMER SIGNINGS

This summer we spent a stupid amount of money on free agents in the hopes of finding the next Artemi Panarin. Well turns out Artemi Panarin was this year's Artemi Panarin, and the Jackets scrub signings have so far shown mediocre promise. Kemppainen, Donskoi, Hannikainen, Sheary, Moses, Medvedev have surprisingly all played NHL games already, which would normally be a good thing except for the fact that none has taken their opportunity and ran with it. Medvedev has stuck with the Flyers because the Flyers suck, and our most expensive signing Donskoi has somehow tricked the Sharks into thinking he's legit. Turns out the most promise of all comes in the form of Conor Sheary, a miniature version of a real hockey player but skilled nonetheless. Have these signings taught us a lesson for future years? Yes, and the lesson is that if a player is not currently in the NHL there's probably a reason for that.

That's it for now, in our next article we'll check up on how our players are doing in the NHL.