So it's President's Day down here on the south side of the northern border wall and I figure it's a decent day to entertain myself by posting here in the hallowed halls of the NEFHL Museum of Required Stories.  So let's get on with it...

Back in the day (yes, those days), I used to travel to the fights in Las Vegas with some regularity.  They were tremendously entertaining and, hey, even if the fight sucked, I was still in Las Vegas baby!!  For those of you who haven't been exposed, I highly recommend checking out some of the glorious championship fights of the 1970s and 1980s.  I was at the top three here as well as a dozen others.

Sugar Ray Leonard vs. Tommy Hearns https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGLL0itOAe8

Sugar Ray Leonard vs Roberto Duran in the famous 'No Mas' fight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZGbERQLc_A

The most brutal fight I ever saw...  Marvelous Marvin Hagler vs. Tommy Hearns https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqtiewLWEn4

And then there came Mike Tyson, who I never saw live but who was in a class by himself as his peak...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmrreAjF0lc

I also had the privilege of also seeing the last fight of Mohammed Ali when he fought Larry Holmes...

So here's the thing...  last night, I'm getting ready to turn in around midnight and I decide to check the ESPN Streak Game (which I play irregularly) to make a pick for today.  And to my surprise, there's actually still a pick to be made on a UFC fight.  Now I'm a traditionalist and I have never been taken by the cage fighting or the kickboxing or any of the more modern forms of ring combat.  To me, these guys seem tough but something about it reminds me of wrestling (WWF-style and Vince McMahon) so I don't watch.

In the meantime, I see Curtis always tweeting about these fights and while I stiull don't watch, I figure Curtis must have a following and these fights must be, at the least, somewhat entertaining.  So I check ESPN and, sure enough, there's a fight about to begin and I have time to make a pick.  I see that like 85% of the pickers have taken some guy named Cain Velasquez over this other guy Francis Ngannou.  Without any research, I take the underdog and decide I'm going to stay up and see what all the excitement is about with UFC.

About a half hour later, after the insane build-up of these guys coming into the arena, and the Michael Bumpers imitator announcing the introductions, I get pumped up and begin to think that maybe these cage fights are worth watching.

Velasquez looks mean with a mean-looking tattoo that stretches across his entire upper body. 

VELASQUEZ CAIN L

 

The other guy, my pick, has no tattoo but he looks like he's spent his entire life in the gym.  He's got muscles on muscles...  He makes Shane look like a weakling. The cornermen begin greasing these guys up and down, checking their gloves, hugging, kissing, and whispering final instructions.  I'm like, "This could be a seriously entertaining fight."

They meet in the middle of the ring, get their instructions from the ref and then the bell rings.  The chainlink cage is intimidating...  I've never watched a fight where you can't get knocked out of the ring.

The bell rings...  Gloves are up...  They dance slowly towards each other and Velasquez tries a few kicks...  Ngannou blocks the kicks, dances back and then steps in, throwing a couple of punches before they clinch.  20 seconds into the fight, Ngannou hits Velasquez with a decent punch (nothing that would knock anyone out) and suddenly Velasquez is down awkwardly, his leg bends against the chain link and by the 26 second mark, the fight is over as the referee stops the fight to protect Velasquez.

26 seconds!  Now I'm not saying there can't be a fight worth watching, but it will be a long time before I watch another one of these.

If you care to watch the entire exciting joke, here's the link: http://www.espn.com/mma/story/_/id/26021530/francis-ngannou-ko-cain-velasquez-26-seconds