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"You're a Bunch of Inbred Misfits". Those were the first words uttered by new Wings GM Eric as he addressed the team in a highly public, televised meeting this weekend at Little Caesars Arena. Sources say the players were shocked by the harsh tone and were embarrassed by the comments made from their new boss, especially as the team is coming off their best three-game stretch in over a decade. "I mean, he's not wrong, but couldn't he have said those things behind closed doors?", said newly appointed team captain Frans Nielsen.

Nielsen was given the "C" at the same time GM Eric was being handed the keys to the franchise. In fact, Nielsen was still in the minors at the time. One anonymous source even confirmed that Nielsen's captaincy was a condition of Eric taking the role of GM. "The reason I took over this shitty organization was because of Fransy, I couldn't handle seeing that guy end his career on the farm", said Eric. "The Franz" is currently performing at a point-per-game pace since his call up. "This will be the last team that Frans Nielsen ever plays on; he won't be traded, he won't be sent down; and when he hangs them up for good then his number will be retired by all organizations in the league."
When asked to elaborate on his plans for turning around the Wings' fortunes, Eric outlined a clear path: "Most of the current players will not be wearing a Wings jersey come June 30. When I look up and down this pathetic roster, I see a team with no identity, no vision, and no potential for success. It's like inheriting a random selection of guys that wouldn't even make it on the Unassigned Players farm team", said Eric.
True, the team has little in the way of quality and even less in the way of potential, but the next draft could be a turning point given the number of picks that the previous GM has accumulated. Hopefully a solid draft will allow the new Wings leadership to set the building blocks that will finally bring a Cup to Detroit.