Breaking news out of Anaheim this morning, GM Ryan Clarey was given a strike over incomplete lines moments after boasting about "screwing with his lines". Anaheim would go on to win the game 4-0 against the Yotes and have not given up a goal in the last 7 and a half periods. 

"I'm not sure what exactly Jd's problem is with me at the moment, maybe its because I have Josh Norris, maybe its because I'm more attractive then Handsome Kevin, or even perhaps its the fact Quinn Hughes learned what the defensive zone is. I really have no idea but to give me a strike over something like this is absurd, especially when I said Raanta was starting. I declared it, that counts ask Michael Scott", said a red hot Clarey.

Anaheim's lawyers reached out to Calgary to find out exactly what had happened but they were met with JD hitting the ignore button.

"Look, I am 35 I eat dinner at 4pm I go to bed at 7pm, ask Steve he gets it. JD can't seriously expect a man at my age to stay up like I used to anymore and monitor every minute detail. I would love to be able to go all night like I used to, probably why I am single but that's another story. I guess I'll have to be careful about my lines going forward", said Clarey.

When asked about the strike young defenseman Alex Romanov said the following. "Jd hate russian machine. I block shot, but my defense low? I be top D on Flame. Why no like the Russian?" said Romanov who talks like a 6 year old.

So far Anaheim is 3-0 this pre season giving zab a parting gift as he leaves for a new division. Next up for Anaheim on Sunday will be the San Jose Sharks and then will close out their pre season with a home and home vs LA.

Vasily Podkolzin has stood head and shoulders above everyone and may make the team out of pre-season as he has 4 points in 3 games.

Cole Perfetti has not played up to his standard is a very much looking like an AEFHL this season.

*Editors note: This story is entirely Satire, except the Kevin part.