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Islanders Victorious Over Cup Contenders Hurricanes and... uh... Predators?

In a ridiculous exercise, GM Steve of the New York Islanders has floated rumors that he’ll be posting an article after every win, regardless of whatever else is happening, for the entire season! This includes weeks during which the United States President Donald “Famous Anus” Trump scams the Canadian government in the same fashion that he has scammed the jerkweeds who live south of the border.

Thus, let it be known that the 2018 New York Islanders are presently undefeated after 2 games, thereby keeping pace with division rivals Buffalo, Columbus and Washington. GM Steve, when questioned late in the alcoholic evening, was hardly acquiescent during the private sit-down with NEFHL press coverage. “Washington? GM Mike? You’re asking me about the second most annoying person on planet Earth? Seriously? The guy with one fucking flag on his page? ONE? REALLY?  AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?  ONE?  UNO?”

Clearly perturbed, the veteran Islanders GM went on… “Columbus? GM Brock? Who the fuck would name a child Brock anyway? It’s like naming a girl Bertha. If this guy actually manages to have a winning season, is there a single NEFHL GM who will think he had anything to do with it? Eric left him the keys to whatever kingdom exists and that is that!”

And then the reporter asked about undefeated Buffalo… “We have the ultimate in quietude, the Sabres’ GM Kevin. Holy shititsky! Are we even sure that the Sabres really won those games? The last time I read a post by GM Kevin, he was explaining how a loss wasn’t really a loss, but an ‘experiment’ that he expected to lose anyway and the results were a win in his daily diary.”

As for the Islander victories, GM Steve just smiled and said “You simply never fucking know what’s going to happen in this league.”